The boy of my dreams

Been invited on a date with the boy of my dreams. Well, not exactly. I’ve had an email from church saying I’ve been specially chosen to go to a meeting tonight to talk about contemporary worship along with a guy I just fancy the pants off. He’s a really good singer and musician and he is the hottest thing on two legs and I sooo lurve him. I will be really disappointed if he doesn’t show. Over the summer I’ve seen him a couple of times without his shirt and he is totally buff. I also went round to his house once and he was laid on the sofa in a dressing gown and I coudln’t keep my eyes off his tanned hairy legs. It fell open so I saw his nipples but so far I’ve not seen what he keeps hidden in his pants, except for the one occasion in church when he pulled his jeans down and showed his pants which was a heart stopping moment. If only I could get him to show me the only bit of his body I havnt seen I could die happy. I shall keep you up dated.

Something else I havent done for a few days

Had a really good holiday. We stayed in a hotel near Llandudno and had a family room with two single beds and two bunk beds. Mum had one of the singles I had the other although they were so close together it was like a double. I’ve had to go all week without having a wank. Had a little play with it once or twice when she’s been asleep but didn’t want to risk getting caught in the bathroom and I couldn’t do it in bed. Made up for lost time last night but it wasn’t at all sexy and didn’t feel all that great. Clocked this great looking guy yesterday just before we set off back home. Actually it was his package I noticed more than anything but he had a really nice face too. Only saw him as he walked past. We were going the other way but boy was he big. Seen a few other tasty hunks. We went to a place called the Fun Centre, it’s a play area but with massive slides, scramble nets and such. It was dead busy and really hot. Everyone was really sweaty and there were these two older lads 18-20 and one of them had his shirt off which was just the hottest thing. Got a good look at his happy trail. There was another guy about my age and he was hot too. Kept lifting his t-shirt to wipe off the sweat and he had such a toned bod. There was a dark maze where you can’t see anything and I just wished I could have gone in there and accidentally bumped into him but he stayed on the climbing equipment. We went on a train up Snowdon and I had to sit next to this lad all the way up and back. He wasn’t that hot but when we got to the top there were these guys who had all trekked up and they were just so yummy. Could see they were looking at us thinking wusses because we’d gone up by train and they’d climbed all the way up. It was really windy and wet at the top and they’d all got the proper gear on and there’s me in jeans and hooded sweatshirt. They were all sat around in the visitor centre and they’d taken off most of their outdoor gear so they had just t-shirts on and looked really tasty. Watched one or two as they were getting dressed ready to go back out. There were loads of them so I think they were probably DofE or something. Mum sez next time we go we’re going to climb it. I doubt we will, we don’t have all the right gear and my bro would be whining about having a stitch before we’d gone ten minutes. Wales was good. Loads of things to do although I think it’s cost a lot of kerching. My mum got really cross with my sister when she ordered things in cafes and then didn’t eat or drink them. Came back last night and got stuck for ages on the motorway. Mum got really stressed especially when it started to pour down and the lorries were making it hard to see. Ended up stopping for MacD at 7 and eating it on the move driving up the M6.

Too much information

What is the matter with me? Just come back from our holiday in Wales. Did you miss me? Sorry if this is a little bit graphic but to I haven’t been able to take a dump the last four days. I’m getting really concerned. How long can you go without, does anyone know? Unbelievably this time last week I had just the opposite problem. We had a Chinese takeaway a week last Sunday and I won’t go into detail but on the Monday morning my stomach was like the inside of a washing machine. I thought it wouldn’t last more than a day but I was still feeling off colour until the Wednesday. Thursday morning complete change, I can’t go at all. Again I thought it would get right by itself but by Saturday I was getting really worried. I’ve tried but can’t. We went out for a meal on Saturday night and I felt really full afterwards. Went to bed thinking I might be dead by morning or wake up in pain but no I’m still here. It’s not as though I’ve not been eating. Quite the opposite, I’ve had loads to eat whilst we’ve been away, but where’s it going if it’s not coming out? Don’t want to tell my mum. I’ve thought about it, but one morning at breakfast my bro disappeared to the toilet and then said he had to go again shortly afterwards adding I only did a wee the first time. My mum said Too much information. I did tell her about my stomach being funny last week. I thought perhaps it was because I wasn’t eating the sort of stuff we usually have. The hotel only did white toast for breakfast an we usually have wholemeal. Then there was the fact that the toilet in our hotel room was just off the bedroom and didn’t have a lock on the door. I tried going when we were out but saw the way my mum was looking at me when I got back, like she was thinking you’ve been a long time, what’ve you been doing. I’ve tried drinking lots of water, eating loads of veg but nothing. How long have I got before I die or explode? Not much of a postcard from Wales I know but I had to share this with you before I tell you about our holiday. What do you think I should do?